Goodbye hair.

Every day for the past five or six days my hair has been leaving me. Saturday I went walking and just popped by a kind neighbor's home (she cuts hair) to see about cutting it short. I'm not ready to shave it yet, but shorter hair will be less mess. My guess is that it will be gone by the end of the month.

I get this week off chemo to let my blood counts recover--YAY!! No needles!!
I'm feeling okay but weak most of the time. Evenings are the hardest-where I feel pretty yucky. If I don't eat frequently during the day I feel pretty yucky too. I've been pretty dizzy at times (oh-maybe that's because I'm blond!--but not for long).

I'm just happy for each day I wake up and I'm still here!

Only one poke this time!

Tuesday was a success!! The nurse got my IV first try!! I wanted to hug her!
Things are going relatively smoothly. Nights are the hardest--when I get worn out and feel yuckiest. Sometimes I have sleepless nights (like last night) and I get weird aches and pains all over from time to time from who knows what--all the chemicals or the cancer or stress. Nothing too unordinary.

Tuesdays are my Huntsman days from now on--to get chemo every week, bone strengthener once a month and see the Dr. from time to time. My white blood cell count has already dropped pretty low, so I get shots for three days after chemo to up my white blood cell counts.

Keepin' positive!! (Thanks to everyone's prayers and help!)

I am a holy woman.

Today was my first day for my new chemotherapy called Taxol. I'll be getting it each Tuesday.


6 HOLES TOTAL!
It took three women, three sticks with a needle in each arm in various places, and a little over an hour to find a vein that would be found after much probing and digging around with each stick. That was pure torture!! I tried to go to my happy place and pretend I was on the beach. Every so often the digging brought me back to reality and I felt like crying like a little girl.

The actual receiving of the Taxol wasn't bad. After we got past the first 15-30 minutes where they watch to see if you have an allergic reaction (I was a little nervous during this part) things went smoothly. 1-2 hours total. We met some nice people and I found out some good places to check out for wigs (if I decide to go that route--I may just like scarves & bandanas--we'll see).

My nurse called this afternoon to let me know that my MRI results showed more cancer in my skull (there was already a palm-sized amount on my forehead at my last scan) but none in my brain!! YAY!!

I'm wired. I'm on a ton of steroids that go along with the chemo to help my body not have an allergic reaction. I wonder if I'll sleep tonight. I guess I could always organize closets or something useful!

Coming soon...

I had a weird thing happen to my vision on Tuesday so I get an MRI of my brain for New Years!! YAY!!
I just love getting scanned!
I'll post results when we get them. Maybe some photos too!

I've been feeling pretty well--I've been snow-shoeing the past two days and we spent an awesome New Year's Eve with family and friends. I'm still waiting for the nausea from my chemo to go away before I start the new stuff on Tues. the 6th. It's getting better each day but not gone yet.

THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU EVERYONE for all the fasting and prayers!! I am feeling a lot of emotional and spiritual strength because of it. I'm not sure how things will turn out, but I'm confident that God is watching over me and come what may--everything will be okay.

I am glad for every day I wake up--I love mornings!

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!!

Ho Ho Ho!

I ended up getting my results from my PET scan yesterday. Not a good Christmas present. Compared to my last scan in September, I have more cancer in my liver, lungs, bones, and some lymph nodes among other places. And mysteriously my tumor marker is going down. My doctor said maybe the cancer isn't producing the tumor marker anymore. Cancer is a sly thing and can change on you. My doctor suggested switching to another chemo called Taxol. I shouldn't have much nausea with this one (YAY!) but it can cause pain (sometimes severe) and pain and tingling in the hands. And I will lose all my hair.

Anyway...

Is anyone up for fasting? We're having a fast this Sunday December 28th. I feel like I need all the help I can get to make the right choices and to handle whatever comes. I still would like a miracle--but that's up to God. Right now I'm just going off of faith that He's watching over us and whatever happens, things will be okay.

Hope your Christmas is Merry!!!
Love you all!!

A PET scan for Christmas

I get to go have a PET scan Monday morning to see where the cancer is in my body these days (it's been about three months or so since my last one). I have an appointment at Huntsman Tuesday to get my blood tested and probably to talk with my Dr. about the scan results. I'm not sure I want to hear anything till after Christmas. I'll post results when I get them.

For Christmas, I want to feel as peaceful as this picture looks:

This was the view off my deck one night last week.

Here's wishing you all a very Merry Christmas with lots of love from me!!

I'M THANKFUL!!

I'm thankful for Bry who draws me a bath every night for my achy bones, who rubs my back for hours in the middle of the night when I can't sleep and who would rather be with me than anyone else. He even does the dishes most nights and vacuums!!


I'm thankful for Joe and Sam--who love to sit on the heater in the mornings while they eat breakfast. They learned this from me. I couldn't ask for better boys. They bring a smile to my face.




After feeling really yucky and nauseous and like my ribs and back are falling apart--and feeling sorry for myself--I got a call last night from my nurse. I didn't want to talk with her because I figured it was bad news with how crappy I've been feeling. When she said I'd be thankful to hear it, I let her tell me: my tumor marker is at 1,500!! That's over 1,000 lower than last time, and I havent been in the 1,000's for a long time! The chemo must be working (along with all my homeopathic and herbal stuff). So the nausea isn't so bad if I know it's helping me stay alive longer.

Last week was a really tough week for both Bry and me, but at the end of the week I looked back and realized how many people did nice things for us. The good definitely outweighed the bad--and I was amazed at how many acts of kindness we were blessed with. I am so grateful for good family and friends!! We love you all!!

It's all in how you look at things. There is always going to be the negative--but if you look for the positive--it's always there too. Even in the worst circumstances there is always something to be thankful for.