Thursday, November 27, 2008


I'm thankful for Bry who draws me a bath every night for my achy bones, who rubs my back for hours in the middle of the night when I can't sleep and who would rather be with me than anyone else. He even does the dishes most nights and vacuums!!

I'm thankful for Joe and Sam--who love to sit on the heater in the mornings while they eat breakfast. They learned this from me. I couldn't ask for better boys. They bring a smile to my face.

After feeling really yucky and nauseous and like my ribs and back are falling apart--and feeling sorry for myself--I got a call last night from my nurse. I didn't want to talk with her because I figured it was bad news with how crappy I've been feeling. When she said I'd be thankful to hear it, I let her tell me: my tumor marker is at 1,500!! That's over 1,000 lower than last time, and I havent been in the 1,000's for a long time! The chemo must be working (along with all my homeopathic and herbal stuff). So the nausea isn't so bad if I know it's helping me stay alive longer.

Last week was a really tough week for both Bry and me, but at the end of the week I looked back and realized how many people did nice things for us. The good definitely outweighed the bad--and I was amazed at how many acts of kindness we were blessed with. I am so grateful for good family and friends!! We love you all!!

It's all in how you look at things. There is always going to be the negative--but if you look for the positive--it's always there too. Even in the worst circumstances there is always something to be thankful for.

Friday, November 7, 2008

I've had some amazing pain and nausea this week. Sometimes we may think that what we're going through is bad, and then when it gets worse, the bad doesn't seem so bad any more. There are so many levels of opposition. It's like a video game--when you pass one level, you get to move to the next, and then the next. The higher you go, the better you get at it--and the more points you get!!

Last night I was feeling like I was done. Done with all the medications, done with feeling pain and yuck and nausea. I'm just a wimp when it comes to these things. I know it can get much worse--but I was feeling like I had hit my limit.

For inspiration I opened my trusty little book, "Stand A Little Taller" by Gordon B. Hinckley. It said:

I know there are a lot of us who are going through major struggles. Hopefully this encourages you like it did me!