Monday, May 4, 2009

Jenn slipped away peacefully this morning.


You've endured so much. You've fought so well. We're all so proud of you...We'll miss you so much.

Until we meet again.

Sunday, May 3, 2009

Update from Brother Tom

This is an update from Jenn's brother, Tom...

Jenn is currently very weak. She has been brave and strong for so long, but her body is shutting down. Last weekend was her 40th birthday party at a restaurant with her family:

However, this past week, her condition has deteriorated rapidly. Please remember her in your prayers. There is a book placed outside the door of her house if you would like to write your feelings or messages to Jenn. You may also post messages here and they will be read to her. If you want to visit, please call ahead, since she is resting most of the time now.

Thank you for all your prayers, love and support.

Thursday, April 16, 2009

Things are still about the same--my liver is still ENORMOUS and I look about 3-4 months pregnant. It's usually tucked nicely up behind my ribs, but I can feel it all the way down to my belly button (and it hangs a little lower on the right side). There's fluid from it all over in my abdomen. The rest of my body has become quite skinny--so I'm looking pretty cute right now.

I got a week off chemo this week. However, because of the liver I feel pretty sick and have no energy. I spend a lot of time resting. Food is hard--my mouth is all sore inside from the chemo and my taste buds are all messed up.

I think I'm at the part where you just smile (if you can) and endure.

I still have my bright shining hope that all will be well.

Thursday, April 2, 2009

It's been awhile.
Our basement is finished, but here's the last photo taken--without carpet.

We have Bry's brother & his wife Yukari and their new baby Kentaro living in the apartment downstairs. Their baby makes me smile--he's so sweet!

I haven't had much energy lately. Last week I was mostly dead, but I'm feeling a little more alive this week. Monday, March 23rd I could feel my liver hanging out down below my ribs (which isn't normal) so I mentioned it to my oncologist the next day at my appointment (I still go in for treatment every Tuesday--three weeks in a row and one week off). She seemed concerned and decided to switch my chemo since the liver growing is a sign that what we were doing wasn't working. I also had some other meds to strengthen my bones, build red blood cells, etc. And to top it all off I had an enormous barium smoothy before having a CT scan that evening. The next two days I threw up EVERYTHING and was in and out of the hospital for IV fluids and another test (for my heart). Bry was out of town so my parents came to take care of me. By the weekend my stomach felt worse than when I was nine months pregnant because of all the fluid and pressure from my liver. I decided not to do any chemo the coming Tuesday because I felt so awful.

So--Tuesday came, my doctor felt my liver again and I told her to be blunt because I know the liver is an important organ. She said that if it continued to be like it is, I probably have months not years left. So--I went to the bathroom and had a breakdown. All I could think about was my boys.

I didn't want to do chemo again but I had to do everything I could to try to fight this and live a little longer. So--I did the new chemo again (Adriamycin). Amazingly, I am doing much better since then. The anti-nausea pills and everyone's prayers and fasting are definitely helping!! I haven't thrown up and have slept better. I feel tired, and need to rest often--but it's great improvement over last week.

I'm not sure what the future holds--whether I'll have months or years--but I just have to hang on to the fact that God knows what's going on and his will will be done which means everything will be all-right.

The quote in my day-planner this week is: "I have learned to live each day as it comes, and not to borrow trouble by dreading tomorrow. It is the dark menace of the future that makes cowards of us." (Dorothy Dix)

Photos from our California trip in March:
At Disneyland:

At the beach with friends the Johnsons:

Friday, February 27, 2009

moving like an old lady

I keep meaning to post vacation photos and shots of our nearly completed basement, but things get in the way. Our suitcases are still sitting on the floor unpacked since I had chemo the day after we got home and then I had a bad day the next day, ending up in the ER last night until early this morning. I've just had some bad abdominal pain and a fever of 103 F. They ran a bunch of tests, but couldn't figure it out. There's a lot of things it could be, but they ruled out that it was a blood clot. Today the fever is gone, but I'm just really slow and have a side ache.

But the sky is blue and the sun is shining!

Saturday, February 21, 2009

It's been a little while since I've written in here. I've felt pretty yucky lately and my brain feels like it's on overload and isn't working the best. I'm sure this is mostly from stress and trying to get our basement finished in record time. I skipped chemo this past week because we were planning to go on vacation this weekend and I wanted to enjoy the trip as much as possible.

We're in California-- going to hang out at Laguna Beach today--just relax. Tomorrow we're going to the Academy Awards (just kidding!).

I'll post photos of the trip and our basement soon.

Today is Bry's birthday--HAPPY BIRTHDAY LOVE!! YOU'RE THE BEST!!

Wednesday, February 4, 2009

After an emotional week of hair falling out in gobs every day, I decided it's time to get rid of it. Bry did a fine job.

I was actually surprised at the nice oval shape of my head. You wonder sometimes what shape is hiding under the hair.

I felt so great that I decided I didn't want to cover it up and Bry and I went out to run some errands and do some shopping.

When the boys got home from school they were a bit shocked, but then things went on as usual until right before bedtime when Joe asked me to go put something on my head because I looked like an old man. Sweet child. I guess they need a little more time to get used to my bald beauty.

Here we are a week or so ago (with hair) out for ice cream. I have to say that it's been so long since I've had ice cream--it didn't even taste good. I needed a nice cup of veggies.

I just have to put a plug in for awesome dads. Mine brings me a load of Costco veggies and fruits along with a bouquet of flowerer just about every week. He's currently spending most of his free time helping us finish our basement. We have to have it done by mid-March so Bry's brother and his wife, Yukari can move in (we're putting an apartment with a separate entrance in). I can't wait for all the dust to settle.

Love you dad!!